Crack Fiends and French Fries

I spent most of yesterday downtown with Levi and Luba. It was a lot of fun, except for about 2 seconds during what shall now be known as “The McDonald’s Incident”.

The three of us were sitting in the McDonald’s at Queen and Spadina, one of the seediest restaurants in the city, talking about our families. Suddenly, a large, unstable-looking man came in and threw several large plastic bags on the table. In a loud, serious voice, he yelled, “Freeze! This is a stickup!” Everyone stopped abruptly and stared at him.

First thought: fear.

Second thought: give the guy your wallet if necessary, and you and your friends won’t be hurt.

Then, in a sequence so bizarre I couldn’t make this up even if I wanted to, he shouted, “I just robbed No Frills! I’m selling this meat at half price!” while motioning to the bags. The gentleman then sat on a stool and pulled out a pipe. He mentioned that he needed some crack to get going. Incredibly, he started smoking crack in the middle of the crowded McDonald’s, and ran towards the bathroom while the manager chased him. The three of us left at this point.

I'll always remember the he McDonald’s Incident. It proved that I can make a quick, rational decision in a potentially dangerous situation -- and it was bizarre and hilarious.